Alright folks, we’ve got ourselves a debate out here on the farm.

First a little background, just to get you up to speed on the issue. Our little farm has been here since before the railroad came through. Consequently, when the railroad did come through, it went right across the front entrance to our little farm and the railroad effectively closed out the front driveway, which was fine because there was another lane attached to the property next door that allowed ingress and egress to our home, and the owners of the land at the time were all farmers, so they all used the lane and maintained it, instead of building another lane, right beside the existing lane (only on the other side of the fence).

Years passed and formal paperwork was drawn up and filed with the Great State of Ohio in 1990, allowing this property use of the lane and everyone went along, happy as clams, until the next-door neighbor sold his property to a guy who eats rat poison for fun. (This is, in fact, probably a filthy lie. I have no evidence the guy eats rat poison for fun — it’s just one of the possible diagnoses that ran through my medical head as I was attempting to have a lucid conversation with him. I apologize ahead of time for being a horrible person if there truly is something wrong with the poor man.)

Anyway, long story short (too late and you’re welcome for the history on our farm lesson), the guy has an ass about the big truck. He says it tears the lane up and he doesn’t want to grant us usage rights for it anymore. It bears to be noted here that George never brings a trailer in, just the tractor. It also bears to be noted the guy bitching has a gigantic diesel dually he grinds the gravel with on a daily basis, and the lane is a designated farm road with paperwork that specifically states usage for sod farming.

My argument to him is our truck, which has actually only been up and down the lane twice, would actually do less damage to it than his dually, because of the distribution of weight on the super singles. I’d also venture to say, with the amount of fuel George has in it right now, it doesn’t weigh a whole hell of a lot more than his Ford Super-Duty extended cab with tool boxes festooned all over it like life rafts. I’m interested to know what the readers think.

We were informed by the nice officer he called to report “an 18-wheeler tearing his driveway up” that it is our responsibility to go to the Sheriff’s Office and make sure they have copies of the egress paperwork on file, because if the guy calls the law on us again for using the driveway, the responding deputy doesn’t have to read court documents provided by us. This was right after we offered her court documents and she refused to read them. Which seems insane, but whatever, we’ll follow the rules. Apparently, we’ll have to sneak down the lane like the Viet Cong to avoid catching the attention of the rat poison lover, in order to get to the Sheriff’s office at all. This is crazy.

Life goes on, and if we don’t get back out on the road soon, I’m fairly certain George is going to have an episode. The vein in his head got so big when the cop told us she wouldn’t read our paperwork I thought it was going to blow for sure. We remained calm and we will carry on and file our paperwork like good little citizens. Just one more truck hater who doesn’t understand.

Bless his black little heart.